Survivor of Life

Family, a rock to support you, a shoulder to cry on, the source of ones courage. That is what I believe a family is or should be to an individual. But what happens when that rock gets cracked or that shoulder just disappears? This is the story of a little girl whose mother has been the source of her strength, even in her death.

It was one regular morning, 10 years ago, when something happened to my mom. My father took her to the hospital and she was diagnosed with Cancer. My parents told me about it as soon as they could, but what was cancer to an 13 year old girl. And soon it hit me, I was shattered to understand the fact that my time with my mom was limited. As any budding teenager, I wasn’t ready to accept it either. I used to get angry on little things, would lose control over my emotions, just scream and shout at my parents, the more I grew the harder it was to digest everything that was happening. God knows how, but whatever courage I had, seemingly came from my mother, she would hold me tight when I lost control, would spend the nights with me. When I got angry, she would talk to me and an astounding calmness resonated from her.

Day in and day out, my father and I used to wake up with only one fear. And one day, that fear came true. My mother was gone. I cried like there was no tomorrow, for a child to lose his/her parent, at any age, is the end of the world. I stopped leaving my bed, the only time I did, was to go to her room and just cry. The house felt empty without her and so did I. My father tried to console me, but he felt as broken and empty as I. My father then after did the best he could to raise me, but I just couldn’t let go, there wasn’t a day that I didn’t cry while looking at the pictures of my mother. And not long after, I was diagnosed with depression and be put on medications.

Everything so far wasn’t enough, the society convinced my father to remarry, “For Your Daughter” they said, “She needs the care of a mother at such a tender age”. And there came my step-mother. Funny how she did everything but take care of me. Every day with her in the house just made me realize how much I missed my mom. She never actually talked to me, no, she just kept scolding me for no apparent reason. She had me running around the house doing all the chores, sparing me almost no time for my own self. I was never allowed to do anything, never could leave the house, no movies, no lunch with friends, no participating in extracurricular activities at school, nothing at all. With all this going on, I could barely concentrate on my studies, I used to get anxiety attacks when exams closed in because I never got the time to prepare for them.

My father did everything that he could do, he was there for me no matter what. If it was wasn’t for my father, maybe I would have never overcome all this that life threw at me. The older I got, the more I learned about Mental Health, I went for counselling sessions, did everything in my power to leave this all behind and start anew. I always felt like I was struggling in battle but through constant mental health support I pulled through.

Today I am a person of my own, my step-mother has no hold on me, when I remember my mother, I no longer cry, I think that she is in a better place and I’ve done her proud. I stay close to my father because he is all I have now. And I am happy, all that has happened, all that will happen, I know I can overcome it. And if I can, so can you.

I’d like to take leave by saying that life goes on, ups and downs are just part of it, what matters is how you adapt to it. That’s what I have learned, and that, there is nothing wrong in asking for help. It isn’t a sign of Weakness, rather of Bravery.