Time Does Not Heal All Wounds

Did you know that stuttering is a complex set of behaviors that interfere with fluent speech? And that about 1% of adults and 3% of children stutter? She is one of them. Read through the story of @v_kamya and find out the problems an individual faces due to stuttering.

16 April, 2021

Stuttering seems like a basic speech problem, but no its more than what it appears at face value. Over 1% of the people globally suffer from this disorder. I myself as an individual faced issues which not only lowered my self esteem but also translated into bitter childhood experiences. Ironically, I never knew that these bitter experiences would bring enormous growth and make me a better person. It's because of this speech disorder that I emerged as a confident person, and made me what I am today.

The genesis of this stuttering problem can be traced back to my childhood. It was so bad that there were situations where I could hardly complete a sentence. I remember how I was bullied and was a clown for my whole class. In a class full of "normal no issues children", I felt like an outsider. I wish, had I been vocal about the issue that I would have screamed and told each of them to stop identifying myself by a mere disorder. Disorder which I had no control over.

But anyways, As time passed by, I realized that with the help of my parents I could see a positive change. A change where I saw my stuttering problem had almost gone. I don't know how it all vanished but I will always be grateful to my parents for what they did for me like no other. Happy was I to start a life with such confidence.

Until one day, it all started again. Difficulties surrounded me, and I could not utter a single word. Everything in mind but not a single word on the lips. Everything that had passed returned to me, fear of speaking up, fear of judgment, and worst of all, the bullying experiences- all seemed live in front of my eyes and I never had felt this helpless. I just shut myself in a dark room, and did not step out of home for days. Stopped answering calls out of panic of being unable to speak, it couldn't be worse that I lost my will to live and made myself feel so worthless that " I am nothing If I can't speak. "

"Then, time to change tact" A different way of looking at myself now. This was the moment- I decided to stop this vicious circle, it was enough now. And trust me, once you decide to look positively at yourself, there is no coming back. I decided to go for therapy, professional help because big changes takes efforts and courage. Therapy was treasure for me, the deeper I dug, the more fruitful it was. I not only fought my stuttering issues but also dealt with number of other issues which were an iceberg underneath, and not only that but I started to love myself , and believe me, once you start to love yourself, the world around you changes.

And today I live by a saying, ‘I define myself, no one else does’. No matter how you feel, your problems, your struggles, your disabilities, they do not define you. That is what every individual needs to learn.

~ Kamya Vyas